


Too Many French Mistakes

by pizarra



Series: Winchester Life [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - The French Mistake, Episode: s06e15 The French Mistake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-20 03:29:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1494916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pizarra/pseuds/pizarra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas go after a witch only to be sent to the alternate universe where Balthazar sent Dean and Sam before: the universe where Dean's Jensen Ackles and Castiel is something called a Misha Collins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean has always hated hunting witches. Or stopping them from killing everything in their path. Or reversing whatever spell they used to make a man believe that he came from another world and that his name is Jake, not Adam.

He loathes witches, and he’ll tell everyone who’ll listen. Sam, Kevin, and Cas roll their eyes as Dean opens his mouth again for another rant.

“Friggin’ witches, man!”

Apparently, his brother has had enough, because he slammed an old tome closed. He expected dust mites to come floating out, but it seems that the bunker is kept obsessively clean. (God knows who dusted.) “Yes, Dean, we get it! Can we please move on to the hunt, now?”

Now, it’s Dean to roll his eyes, but he nods nonetheless. The sooner they gank the witch, the better it will be for the people of—Dean looks down at the paper Sam placed in front of him—Greensburg, Kansas. It seems that witches have been taking people, mind-wiping them to make them think that they have a different name and personality, then putting them back in their homes, safe and sound. That is, until the next morning when all hell breaks loose. The victims all claim kidnapping, all say that they don’t know their families and friends, and that they have different names.

“You and Cas go to Greensberg and check it out. I’ll stay here with Kev for backup.” Dean is about to argue with that—because, c’mon! Why does he have to go?—but Sam talked over him. “You get pissy when your boyfriend’s gone for even a day, and you have better chances, what with Cas being hopped up on angel juice.”

Dean growls. “Alright, fine. But I don’t get pissy.” He levels Sam with a dangerous glare before going to his room to pack.

 

\-----=====-----

 

“Cut!”

Dean picks himself up from the floor, and immediately searches for Cas. The angel is slowly getting to his feet, eyes wild as he looks around them. Dean growls under his breath as the scene before him. Camera equipment, dollies, and huge microphones are scattered around. Instead of the rusty roof of the warehouse they found the witches holed up in, the ceiling is filled with bright spotlights that hurt his eyes. And not only that, there are a group of people sitting in director’s chairs discussing (what seems to be) his fate.

“What the hell was that?” the old man with white hair asks the man at his left.

“Iz a problem vith ze lights. Ze thunder messed it up.” The (obviously) French man replies.

“Great. How long will it take to redo the scene?” the man asks to no one in particular.

“Um, about 2 hours, give or take.” Another man, this one a tall American, says.

The old man rolls his eyes. “Great. As if we weren’t already behind schedule. Fine. Do it.”

Fuck. Dean knows where they are. Oh yeah, he knows exactly where they are. And the only thing in his mind is, ‘ _Shit, not again._ ’

“Dean.” The hunter tears his eyes away from the all-too-familiar scene to look at the angel. “Where are we?”

“Uh…” he supplies, rather unsure as to how to explain to Cas. “We’re in a TV show?”

Cas frowns at that, tilting his head to the side. “I beg your pardon?”

“Look—“

“Okay, we’ll take a break!” the old man, the director Bobby Singer, if he remembers correctly, shouts loudly.

“Cas,” he says to the angel, “there’s no time to explain, but just…follow my lead, alright? Don’t talk to people, just follow my lead.”

Cas nods just in time as two PAs reach them and gives them a bottle of water each. Yup, they’re back in TV land where they’re actors. And his boyfriend just became Misha Collins.

They follow the PAs to where there are three director’s chairs with their names on them. Dean directs Cas to the one for ‘Misha’, while he takes the one with ‘Jensen.’ Once seated, it seems that everyone is content to leave them the fuck alone.

“Dean, explain.”

Dean wipes a hand over his face. “Alright. We’re in a film set. This is where Balthazar zapped us to when you were running from Raphael. Remember?” The angel looks perplexed, Dean rolls his eyes. “When he sent us to an alternate universe, knowing that Virgil would run after us, while he gave you the weapons of Heaven?”

“Ah.” The angel looks around, and says, “ah” again.

“Yup.”

“Alright,” Cas gets off the chair, “this is enough. I’ll take us back.”

Dean sees Cas’s hand approaching his forehead, and says nothing, desperately hoping that Cas still has his mojo. After five seconds, nothing happens.

Castiel frowns again. “I…I don’t understand. Why can’t I take us back?”

“There’s no magic here, Cas. Angels and demons don’t exist.” Dean explains quietly. The angel’s face fell, and his eyes have an inkling of hurt that Dean has not seen for a long time. “I’m sorry, man.”

Fan-fucking-tastic.

 

\-----=====-----

 

This time, the house they end up at is a two-story suburban house, complete with a white picket fence. The place looks inconspicuous, nothing that will scream ‘A Hollywood actor lives here!’ Dean can’t believe that this Cas double—Misha—actually lives here, but he’s glad that their ‘working day’ is over.

They met Sam’s doppelganger Jared Padalecki on set earlier, and Dean had to restrain Cas from hugging the actor. He’s not exactly sure what happened to Jared and Jensen when he and Sam replaced the actors, but he didn’t want to risk giving anything away. He also thought it wise to keep his mouth shut on the issue of Misha dying the last time they were in this universe. Jared didn’t act like he saw a ghost when he saw them, so it seems that things were restored back to their proper places. Better be safe than sorry, he always says.

Which is how they ended up going to Misha’s house. Jared was surprised that Dean was not sharing the SUV with him (apparently, Jared and Jensen are _really_ talking to each other now), but he let it go after wishing them a good night.

“Cas,” Dean hisses, “keys, man. If we stand here any longer, the neighbors might think we’re thieves and call the cops on us!”

Castiel looks flustered. “I—I do not know where the key is. I—“ the angel taps the trench coat he’s wearing (and Dean’s certain they’re going to be punished for stealing the friggin’ costume), but comes up empty. “Where do humans usually keep their keys?”

“Dammit,” he grumbles, and starts checking the angel’s pockets himself to double check. He’s got his hands in Castiel’s back pocket when the door suddenly opens and a dark-haired woman stares at them.

Dean hastily pulls his hand out of Castiel’s pocket and steps back to put some distance between him and the angel. Internally, the hunter is thinking of the last time they had to hide their relationship from people, and Dean decides that he hates it.

“Mish?” the woman says, a frown marring her face, “What’s going on? What are you guys doing?”

“Um,” Castiel looks desperately at Dean, who returns the gesture. Dean didn’t really give this Misha character the time of day once he found out that he’s not Cas, and apart from Misha dying, he didn’t know the guy.

“Uh…that’s a very good question,” Dean grins at the woman, “You see, uh, Misha here was just…” he trails off, unsure of what to say.

“I…seem to have lost the key,” Castiel says. Dean opens his mouth to deny it, but apparently, honesty works well for the woman. She just chuckles, and pulls Cas inside with the lapels of his trench coat. And then gives the angel a kiss.

Dean drops his jaw. Castiel is being kissed by a woman. It would have been funny, except it’s Castiel—his _boyfriend_ —and Dean has always been the possessive type. And judging from the panicked look from Castiel, the angel is even more freaked out.

The woman frowns again as she stops assaulting the angel. “What’s wrong with you, sweetheart? And what’s with your voice?”

An awkward silence falls as Cas has no ready answer for her. During the break in filming that afternoon, he’s warned Cas to not tell them the truth, and Dean can tell that he’s sticking by that rule. However, it does make the angel even more uncomfortable than ordinary.

“Drink,” Dean pipes up, satisfied that he actually thought of something. “Uh, Misha and I have been drinking. Sorry. He must’ve left the keys in his trailer.” He gives the woman his best ‘I’m sorry’ look, and somehow, it works.

“Oh, I didn’t taste—you know what, never mind. Why don’t you go on to bed and I’ll bring you a glass of water? Jensen, thank you so much for taking him home.”

That surprises them both, and as the woman is about to close the door on Dean’s face, Cas speaks up. “Dea—Jensen!”

The woman stops and gives him a look. Dean recognizes that look; it’s the look that women have mastered since the beginning of time to show just how much they’re displeased with their men.

“Uh, Jensen needs to stay here,” Castiel explains.

If Dean could facepalm, he’d have done it already. At the angel’s words, the woman raised an eyebrow, and turned to Dean for an explanation. Fortunately, she thought that the angel was superbly drunk and is not making much sense.

“He means, can I stay here for the night? Uh, I’m fairly tipsy myself and it’s really late. I…Can I sleep on the couch? Just for tonight, of course.”

The woman rolls her eyes at him. “Of course, Jensen, you only had to ask. And where’d you get the couch idea? You can have the guest bedroom.” The woman steps aside to let Dean in, much to the hunter’s relief. “Well, we better get to bed. Jensen, you know where the guest bedroom is. Good night!” the woman says cheerily, grabbing Castiel’s hand and leading him to the staircase. Castiel has got that frightened look on his face again, staring at Dean over his shoulder.

“Wait,” the angel says, “I, uh—“ Cas looks around, apparently trying to invent excuses as to why he can’t go to bed with the woman. “I’ll need to drink water. You know. For the…alcohol. I imbibed. A lot.”

The woman looks from Cas to Dean to Cas again, apparently confused. “Okay, I don’t even want to know what you guys are up to. I’ll just go to bed. And try to be quiet, or you’ll wake up your kids.”

Now, it’s Dean’s turn to stare at Cas. Apparently, not only does ‘Misha’ has a _wife_ (not a girlfriend), but he’s also got kids. The woman disappears into one of the bedrooms, leaving Dean and Cas to stare at each other for a long time. Finally, Dean speaks up because he knows he has to explain how married life works to the angel.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas try to find a way back home.

Dean jumps awake at the soft hands shaking his shoulder. It’s the woman—er, Misha’s wife, Victoria, and she’s frowning at Jensen’s foot. He looks down and sees Castiel, upper body leaning on the arm of the chair, mouth open as he sleeps.

After Victoria left them downstairs and Cas settles down on the couch, Dean used his phone to search for ‘Misha actor’ and got his full name, the wife’s name ( _Christ, they’ve been married for a long time_ ), and their kids’ names. Oh yeah, Victoria really got the end of the stick in this situation.

Victoria walks to Cas and wakes him up, too. “Misha, I told you to head on to bed last night,” she says, rolling her eyes. “What did you guys drink last night?” Satisfied that Cas is awake, Victoria didn’t wait for an answer to her question, and just goes to the kitchen.

As the sounds of her making breakfast fill the early morning air, Castiel walks to Dean. “Dean, I want to leave this place.” The angel’s face is stoic, but Dean can tell the underlying anxiety in his voice.

A cry suddenly comes from somewhere in the room. “What is that? Is that a…baby?” The cry sounds tinny, a bit mechanical, so a baby monitor then.

“Mish, can you get her?” Victoria asks from the kitchen. Before Dean could stop him, Castiel takes the baby monitor to the kitchen and hands it to Victoria, much to the woman’s confusion. “What—what am I supposed to do with this?” she says, shaking her head. “She might be dirty. And she missed you last night. And did you steal that trench coat again? I’m telling you, they’ll be banning you from the costume department if you keep that up.” Victoria chuckles as she resumes making breakfast. Castiel just tilts his head at her. Before the angel can say anything else, Dean grabs him by the sleeves of his trench coat, and drags him upstairs to the baby’s room.

The baby was red in the face by the time they get to her. Castiel tilted his head again as he tries to decipher why the baby is crying. “I don’t understand what you want me to do to her,” he looks at Dean.

“Pick her up, Cas. She’s your daughter. Or, your doppelganger’s daughter.” When Castiel makes no intention of moving, Dean rolls his eyes and picks up the baby himself, making shushing noises as he lifts her. One whiff of her diapers tells the hunter that she in dire need of a fresh one. Yeah, this is one task that Dean wants to avoid, but seeing as the other option is the angel, he decides that he can take one for the team and endure five minutes of smelly poop.

After making quick work of changing the baby’s diapers (and making sure that there’s no poop stuck between the creases of her thighs), they bring the baby downstairs. Well, Dean carries the baby; Castiel just follows like a duck.

“Dig in,” Victoria gestures at the plates of breakfast laid out before them. As Dean is stuffing his face full of eggs and bacon, Victoria says, “Your cell rang, Jensen. So sorry, I answered it. Anyway, it was driver, wondering where you were. I told him to pick you guys up in an hour. And oh,” she turns her attention to Castiel, “they’re looking for the trench coat again, so you might want to hide that thing in your duffel before you reach the studio.”

Dean just nods and continues eating as he thinks. They showed up again at the studio, so there’s a good chance that they can go back to their own universe, much like how Raphael dragged them back. Now, if only Sam is the genius Dean always thought he is, and figure out a way to get them back before this Victoria notices how weird her husband is being.

 

\-----=====-----

 

“Dean,” Castiel’s rough voice is near panic, though he hides it pretty well, “are you even sure that this will work? How could Sam know where we are, much less get us back home?”

“Cas, I told you. I have faith in Sam, alright? He wouldn’t let us rot in this crazy-ass universe.”

For the second time in his entire existence, Dean had to act in front of cameras. This time, though, he was smarter—he just acted like he normally would. He thinks of Sammy as he recites his lines, and he tunes out Sam’s counterpart when he’s talking. That way, he doesn’t get distracted by how _different_ the other man is to his brother.

Despite all that, Castiel still is the better actor. Dean just advised the angel to talk and act like himself, and he’ll do just fine. Fortunately, it was the best way to go, because apparently, Cas lone setting is stoic and impervious.

Their finished filming by six o’clock in the evening, and when Dean saw Cliff making his way to them, he dragged Castiel to the nearest closet to hide. They spent an hour inside the wardrobe where they put the costumes, if all the black suits in all shapes and sizes were anything to go by. Looked like they were in the angels’ wardrobe.

Now, they were back in the “warehouse” where he and Cas first showed up, at the exact spot, waiting for his brother to get his head out of his ass and bust them out.

Cas makes a noise of discontent, so Dean puts a hand at the back of nape of the angel’s neck—a gesture that always calms Cas. “It’ll work, man. It’s gotta work. This is the best chance we’ve got.”

Cas nods. So, they wait.

After four hours or so, Dean feels the ground rumbling, the walls of the makeshift warehouse shaking, and he knows it’s time. It’s _Sam_. He smiles in relief, and grabs Cas’ hand. He looks at his boyfriend. “Here we go.”

He grins as the familiar pull claims them.

 

\-----=====-----

 

“Dude, I have never been happier to see your ugly face!” Dean exclaims as he hugs his brother and thumps Gigantor’s back.

“Me too, man.”

Dean steps back and regards Sam. “What took you so long, man? We were there for, like, two days!”

Sam makes a face at him. “The witches didn’t exactly leave a manual, Dean.”

He frowns. “So, how’d you bust us out?”

“Luckily, _Kevin_ found the spell in the library.”

He grins, and ruffles the kid’s hair. “That’s my man!”

Kevin swats his hand away, though he is grinning. “Dude! Anyway, what’s up with Cas?”

Dean looks at the angel, who is currently quietly sitting on one of the wooden benches scattered in the warehouse. He approaches Cas and kneels in front of him.

“Cas? Buddy, what’s wrong?”

“I am thinking.”

“About?”

Cas looks at him, eyes soulful and intense. “I never found out what my wife’s name was.”


End file.
